


Dead Bird Disco

by Jimsdeadbones



Series: Conductor and Grooves' Studio Collaboration [2]
Category: A Hat in Time (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Major Character Injury, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-13
Updated: 2019-06-13
Packaged: 2020-05-07 06:08:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19203448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jimsdeadbones/pseuds/Jimsdeadbones
Summary: The Conductor confronts an unhinged DJ Grooves after the Annual Awards Ceremony. It doesn't go very well for either of them.





	Dead Bird Disco

**Author's Note:**

> I actually wrote this fic first before the other one whoops- Title loosely based on a Hotline Miami soundtrack called 'Miami Disco'. Different game, I know, but the soundtrack's aesthetic really suits Grooves.
> 
> Minor warning for blood and brief emetophobia at the very end! Hope you enjoy Conductor and Grooves' wild ride

_"The Annual Bird Movie Award was rigged. It was an inside job."_

The Conductor hated this. He really did. He wasn't above pulling a couple of strings to make sure things go his way, as it was with show business. To learn that someone else had the gall to be one step ahead of him…

Alright, so perhaps he was a sore loser and didn't take the loss too well, but there were much bigger things at stake. Bigger than his pride, bigger than his beloved train, bigger than the entire damned studio he shared with his rival.

_"The winner knows about the power of the Time Pieces. He's been keeping one, and he's gonna break it."_

Those blasted shiny things. Finicky little objects that he was pretty sure messed with his memories the day it rained down on the planet. He could've sworn he saw a hole in reality, a rift in the space-time continuum and it was a bright, blinding purple.

He tried not to think about that too much. That Hat Lass seemed more than capable of taking care of it, as well as knowing far more about those artifacts than anyone her age should.

_"The truth lies underneath Dead Bird Studio. What goes on in Dead Bird Studio when no one is around? Blow the cover on this thing, lassie."_

The Conductor hung up the phone with a clunk, then turned to the television in disdain. A replay of the Awards Ceremony was on, and there in the center of the stage was none other than his lifelong rival:

DJ Grooves.

So that no-good peck neck finally wins a second time, and he goes mad with power. He should be worried for the guy, but he isn't. Not really.

It's what he deserves, right? Good for him! Sure.

He's not quite sure how time travel works; that was more of a sci-fi thing than western. Though from what very little information he's gathered on rare Time Pieces throughout the years, he's pretty sure some sort of destructive paradox event was on the horizon, and his own record was at stake. That moon penguin could reset every award results to his liking, and no way in hell was the Conductor gonna let that happen.

Now that the call was made, he really should start heading back to the Studio and see what he could do before something irreversible goes down. The Conductor huffed in frustration, grabbing his jacket and hat on the way out.

"Looks like I've been doing you a favor all these years, eh, old friend?"

The moon penguin in the television does nothing but smile back to the audience before the device abruptly shuts off.

 

 

* * *

 

"Ladies and-"

Ohhh no. He's got the hang of it now, just need to jump at the right moment.

"GENTLEMEN!"

The gigantic disco balls shook the entire studio, and the owl was certain could be felt from miles away. One after another they fell, causing shockwaves and even power outages. How were these daft penguins still here, cheering on the spectacle?

The Conductor managed to slip in the crowd pretty easily, all things considered. Those two on the stage and dance floor were focused on trying to stop each other, more so from Hat Kid's end. Something…something was going to happen, and for once he wasn't too confident he could stop whatever the DJ was planning.

"Come take a look at this knife, darling!"

Up until now, his rival was so predictable. Not knowing what might happen next scared- no, annoyed him.

Hey…were those the knives from his set? Those were his good knives!

"Picture…Perfect!"

He liked to think he could read him like a book. Arguing and getting him riled up was a challenge, and for all the casual air DJ Grooves gave, he knew the exact point he was getting under his feathers.

"Slice of Life!"

Never knew how such a guy could resort to a real attempt at murder. Toward a child, no less!

He watched as his rival dive bombed and landed expertly in those massive platform shoes of his, only for the moon penguin to mistime his knife-punch and for the child to flip up and land a hit on him instead.

"Darling, darling, you're so rude!"

The owl shuddered. Never had he seen Grooves so unhinged, even in action. It was impressive, even, perhaps some time he should ask him to cameo in his future movies.

Huh, a penguin sheriff wasn't such a bad idea.

_"CHECK THIIIIIS OUT!"_

Actually, coming here was a bad idea! He should definitely go back and-

Ah. Had the power had gone out again? All of this aside, they really, really should start looking at those unpaid bills in the upper basement. Maybe he should start cutting back on those bribes for once.

The conductor could practically hear those knives, holding his breath 'til the generator kicked in and restored the lights to the floor.

He never really cared for the lass, but a corpse was the last thing he wanted in the studio. It was simply bad mojo and would definitely leave a stain on their history. She was just another actor for him to yell at, that's it.

No more, no less.

Totally not worried about her at all.

The lights died down again, and the scene before him was…a negotiation, of sorts. He was almost impressed at how quick and efficient the penguin stagehands were, leaving an entire grand piano, its pianist, a table and two chairs ready for the duo.

If only his owls were that competent.

"Let's have a little heart-to-heart. Have a seat, darling."

A gentle music piece started to play on the stage behind the main stars. DJ Grooves sounded nowhere near strained and ragged as he was a mere moment ago. A true actor at heart.

"Ever since you arrived on this planet, these Time Pieces have fallen from the sky," he gestured, holding the item in question. The moon penguin's expression was guarded behind his shades as Hat Kid matched his false sense of calm.

"Now, I can understand if you feel they belong to you, darling. I understand," he continued, tone as gentle as a parent to Hat Kid's restless fidgeting.

This felt wrong. This felt very wrong. Something about this situation made him feel like he could be watching himself rather than his rival in his place. Some sort of déjà vu, perhaps.

"But did you know they allow for the rewinding of time?"

There was a tense pause, contrasted with the one moon penguin playing piano onstage. Both Hat Kid, and the Conductor within the audience glanced at Grooves.

"With one Time Piece I could reclaim all the trophies that belong to me, darling!"

He knew it! All of them, though? He's out of control! He knows he won most of those fair and square…right?

"Every single trophy I've lost to the Conductor where he has cheated his way to victory," gritted out Grooves. "I can't prove it darling, but I'm certain he's been manipulating everything to make sure I never win."

Spoken like a true, boring loser who doesn't know how to cheat right, the owl smugly thought, before pushed back behind by some overexcited penguin. Something about cheating and fraud fell out of Grooves' dirty mouth, he didn't quite hear what he asked the child. Possibly something along the lines of bribery, who knows.

Ah right, the dreaded Time Piece. It all comes back to those, doesn't it?

Once he regained his bearings, he watched as Grooves, let out a hearty chuckle and shake his head.

"Darling, darling, darling, you're so - _persistently_ -selfish," he said, barely holding in his frustration in that flipper of his. Still, he had enough class and restraint not to break the table like the Conductor might do.

"I've brought you to stardom, and all I ask in return is a single Time Piece …but you won't share?"

Hat Kid had never looked more uncomfortable. There was a resigned look on her face, and she had the feeling either choice was not going to change the DJ's mind. Perhaps the Conductor was projecting, though he can't help but think they've all done this before.

"Well, darling, if you want this Time Piece back so bad, come and get it," he taunted, and on his signal, he killed the lights once more.

An all-too familiar beeping sound filled the arena, and so the light show and battle resumed. The Conductor sputtered in shock, drowned out once again by the loud, skull-crushing music and the cheering audience.

The bomb was strapped to her! Why, that no-good-All this equipment falling from above and breaking apart was going to cost them both.

"LASS!" he broke his silence, finally. "Over here! Hang in there, I'll find a way to defuse the bomb!"

DJ Grooves was far gone, not even noticing him right away. Maybe he didn't care what the Conductor might do, confident that his presence wasn't going to change a thing. It was almost like movie magic, really, throwing those knives and saws with near-accurate precision.

And like a practiced dancer, Hat Kid dodged them all.

They've done this all before.

Ten seconds remained on the countdown. Hat Kid was throwing urgent looks his way, all while dodging both attacks and Grooves himself.

The Conductor had to remain calm, if he panicked now, the child would--

"Ha! The conductor can't do anything, darling, he's an old geezer!"

Old? Old?! Ohhh, he'll show that peck neck 'old'. While rummaging around the seating area for any kind of item that might help, he happened across one ridiculous prop he was sure was going to be a weapon, discarded at the last moment. That'll show him!

"My defuser is ready! Come here!"

"Whaaaaaat?! That defuser is stupid, darling, that'll never work!"

Hat Kid dashed over to him in relief. After what felt like ages and in a fit of lunacy, the Conductor simply cut out the bomb's main wires with a huge pair of scissors.

There was a beat. Whichever moon penguin was in charge of the audio mixer also got distracted, stopping the music for a hot second.

"…You're kidding, right?"

From the peanut gallery, even the owl had to shrug at him as the bomb powered down. Hey, if it worked, it worked, and some things are best left unquestioned.

The stage descended into further chaos, banners unfurling, birds screeching and frankly, it was too much for the owl to handle. It was probably for the best the large banners obscured his line of sight and shielded him by a margin.

"It's time for…The Big Parade!" the DJ cackled maniacally from the arena, sending some parade owls after the kid.

Oh, good! More of this nonsense! You see, this is exactly the kind of thing he didn't sign up for. Now that neither the Hat Lass or the studio was in any danger of blowing up and killing them all, it was his turn to lay low and take it easy on his ancient joints.

Now if only he could crawl under the tables and wait for this mess to blow over.

_**"I HATE YOU, DARLING!!!"** _

After what felt like an hour later, there was a final yell, and a heavy thud. Soon enough, the lass was gone, back to that spaceship of hers. The Conductor finally ventured from his little hiding place and shoved moon penguins out of his way. The verdict? For a little kid, she's done a number on the fallen DJ Grooves.

The penguin attempted to get up a few times, barely able to hold his head up, then collapsed for good in exhaustion. Just what in blazes was that kid capable of, if not justifiable self-defence.

The crowd, for all their earlier enthusiasm, did nothing.

"Oh, for crying out loud," he muttered. It's time to take matters into his own hands.

The Conductor skipped over the barrier, cautiously stepping towards DJ Grooves. For all their strengths in out-doing each other in stunt work, there's no way the owl was going to be able to get him out of the dreaded floor.

"Can any of you make yourselves useful and help me out here?" he barked at parade owls and moon penguins alike.

Still, nothing but reluctance and a bit of fear at seeing their fallen director like that. They were usually so…protective of him.

But he supposed their bark was worse than their bite; the Conductor doubted any of them were physically strong enough to hold Grooves up.

"Anyone?" the Conductor asked, getting impatient.

Finally, a lone CAW agent stepped forward and supported the DJ's left side while the Conductor balanced him on his right. Together they made their way to the lift, leaving the helpless crew behind them to clean up.

The elevator ride up was loud, clunky and longer than usual, no thanks to the prone bird. The crow said nothing, which he appreciated. Any more of this nonsense and he might just make up an excuse to chew them out and chase them off.

There had to be a spare nest somewhere in the studio where they could put DJ Grooves in; it was far too late at night to go anywhere else. Except the moon, probably.

Now that he thought about it, the Conductor really should've familiarized himself with the moon studio and DJ Grooves' home, because the alternative would be putting him in that room.

That nesting room with the trophies. The trophies that got them into this entire mess and vicious rivalry in the first place.

It's fine. They could make do with that extra storage space the studio used as a makeshift medical room. So what if the bastard rested on a table instead of a nest? He was far too angry about this entire incident to care.

"Not that I don't appreciate it, err…" the Conductor started, causing the crow to perk up in attention. "Mind grabbing an ice pack and that kit over there? Thanks."

The agent tilted his head in response, then simply nodded and set off to get it.

DJ Grooves was still out cold. A quick look-over was enough for the owl to dismiss anything minor: Some nasty-looking bruises, a few cuts, definitely some fake blood on his temple, and a concussion. He'll get over some measly headache soon enough.

"Do you need anything else?" the agent asked.

"No, it's fine," the Conductor mumbled, clearly distracted.

This was awkward, seeing his rival stock still and not at all moving. Usually, he supposed, it was the other way around. The crow left eventually, giving them some space. It was only a matter of time, and Conductor aimlessly fidgeted with Grooves' sunglasses before putting them away. Darn stupid things.

Grooves eventually stirred and came to, mumbling something incoherent and in confusion.

"Lad, I didn't get a single word of what you just said."

"Conductor? Where's-"

"Ah, I remember now, that's just the thing I wanted to talk to you about," the Conductor quickly cut him off. "Quick question, what the peck is wrong with you?"

"…A Concussion? I don't know."

"That's not what I-What were you thinking?!" he hissed, grabbing the DJ by the lapels. "Tryin' to reset our entire careers 'cuz you won again literally yesterday and got power-hungry?"

The DJ flinched from the sudden movement and from how bright the room is. God, his skull might as well have cracked open like an egg, preferable to this horrid concussion migraine he was having.

"Huh?"

"Wha-Don't you 'huh' me, you fake-rhinestone-wearin' peck,"

"Conductor. Shut up for a second, please."

"Absolutely not! You done gone snapped and flew off the handle over something so petty, which is a new low, even for you," the owl yelled, his heavy accent getting stronger with each word.

"Oh, I'm low? Says the guy who needs to drag complete strangers into being actors and make them work 'til they bleed," Grooves shot back, albeit a little slurred.

"In case you've forgotten already, I recall you were the one trying to murder a child for one o' those cursed Time Pieces you were yammering about in the basement."

"…Oh."

Grooves looked stunned. He certainly did do that, didn't he? His head injury might've been a tad more serious- but that doesn't matter right now, the conductor's got ammunition for this argument and both of them were too stubborn and tense to back down.

"Yeah, 'oh', is right, Grooves!" the Conductor shoved him away. "I don't know what's wrong with you. One second you were content enough to settle for the award, next you have no qualms over jeopardizing everything we both worked for. You're lucky that hat lass got away with that Time Piece without so much as a scratch from those knives and saws of yours."

Inwardly, the Conductor felt a rush of success as his rival said nothing. Grooves might have won award 42, but this express owl has won this battle.

"Okay."

And just like that, the feeling went away as quickly it arrived.

"Erm. Are you- How many feathers am I holdin' up?"

"Three."

The Conductor was holding up a single index feather.

"Y'know what, we'll settle this in the morning. Go back to bed."

"Good call," the DJ placed the ice pack over his eyes, as though it would soothe it.

"Get some sleep," Conductor hopped off the opposite counter, making his way out the infirmary. "You probably won't even remember this conversation. Hah, and to think you were so close to finding I've rigged some wins of my own."

"You did what now?"

Oh. Oh he's pecked this one up. The Conductor turned back around to see Grooves towering over him, with unbridled, cold fury behind his cracked shades. The ice pack was crushed in the penguin's grip, and idly he thought how uncomfortable that might feel.

"It wasn't nothin'. Go to bed," the owl nervously stepped away and found his back touch the closed door.

"No, no, can you repeat that? You 'rigged some wins'?"

"…So what if I bribed some fools at the Academy! A-At least Dead Bird Studios is in the lead more than any other ones!"

"You bribed them," Grooves' tone remained level. "Why stop there? Why not blackmail? Did you _blackmail those peck necks too?"_

"Well if it hadn't been for some of them-AH!"

The ice pack missed him by a feather. Actually, it missed the Conductor by a lot, and that's a real cause for concern for his rival's concussion.

"You cheated all these forty-two years. I'm almost impressed and would like to know why you did it, darling," Grooves grit his teeth, all out of patience. "Did you allow them to let me win, or was that all me?"

"…Those two times were all you," the owl looked away, trying to shrink back even further.

"Astounding! It's amazing how selfish you really are after all we've been through!" Grooves threw his flippers up, turning his back to him to cradle his headache.  
The penguin recoiled after feeling his damp forehead. Disgusted, he wiped the wet stuff with his sleeve. To their horror that they both chose to ignore, the head wound didn't go away so easily.

"It's all I have, alright?!" the Conductor's anger was back, like a stubborn spark of flame unwilling to die. "Whether I cheated or not, I still worked my ass off for it."

"That's like saying it's too much effort for you to fill a glass of water."

"You have no idea, do you. In case you haven't noticed, the whole thing's been rigged from the start! It's all about who has the strongest grip on this god forsaken industry. You're lucky we're on the same side!"

"That's not how I see it, Conductor. If you really wanted me on your side, you could've just asked."

"I-"

"No. Instead you cast me aside, insult me, treat me like one of your poor, poor actors. I've asked you several times in the past if you'd like to work together. And what was your answer, without fail, every single time?"

"I didn't-"

"So what was it for, then? The drama of it all? Am I a joke to you?"

"I just…"

Both directors were panting heavily now, the tense silence slowly crushing them all. The Conductor still heard ringing from all the sensory overload earlier.

"What is your problem?"

The owl was at a loss for words. Every comeback he tried to think of turned out blank. Fighting some kid was pretty tame now that his dirty laundry was out for his rival to see.

"Nothing to say? Really? Oh man."

The moon penguin paced around the room while the silence continued. His other injuries seemed to be minor enough to not need any treatment for now, but it was taking all his effort to stay as coherent as possible.

"I hate this. I'm going to have to clean up after your mess aren't I. Great! We're going to be blacklisted everywhere and I'm probably going to take the brunt of it, like I always do."

A bad memory or few resurfaced for the both of them, each knowing exactly what incident he was referring to. A low blow, but the Conductor probably deserved that.

The party he was bribing weren't exactly pushovers, and as soon as the blackmails were rendered null and void, Dead Bird Studio was in for a world of trouble. Those folks at the Academy were smart, you see. It was possible they wanted their famous rivalry to happen, so they could watch himself and Grooves work themselves to death. The Conductor was smarter, and always planned his moves carefully. Casting Grooves aside when he could've been a more powerful ally was a grievous oversight on his part. Pettiness was going to be his downfall one of these days.

"It's all I have, okay?"

"What, the power? And here you were earlier, calling me power-hungry for winning the awards that were long overdue."

"No, the trophies."

He didn't get it. Grooves had people who loved him, more important than these stupid darned trophies. Conductor would do anything to have that, but since that would never happen, these trophies were a cheap replacement for validation.

"You can keep them. I'm not planning on using the Time Piece anymore to get your dirty trophies."

"You can't use them anyway. The Hat Lass took them with her."

"Cool. No doubt it. Enjoy your dirty money, Conductor, I'm going to bed."

"No, see, wait, what I don't understand is, why the hell did you try to kill that kid? I know you, Grooves, You'd never lay a hand on them, no matter what the situation is. What's gotten into you?"

The penguin went silent again. It was a miracle he was able to articulate his words on the brink of passing out, but now his consciousness was really wearing thin.

"I don't know."

"Was it really worth it, Grooves? Life of a living child? Changing the past for something that wasn't supposed to happen?"

Grooves said nothing as the owl looked away. Not even a snappy remark about the cheating and rigged awards. He did start to look horrified from his own actions, though the Conductor missed his expression and took his silence for a would-be murderer's confession.

"Forget it. I shouldn't have helped."

The owl stormed away from the medical room and signaled for a random bird his way. It was the CAW Agent again-which was good, he doesn't need to explain this mess to someone new all over again. The receptionist wasn't going to like either of the directors' actions that night, and he'd probably risk getting law enforcement to deal with. Also- had that red stain on their coat always been there?

Briefly, he swore he heard dry-heaving in the room he just left.

"Hey you. Do me a solid and make sure that peck neck doesn't end up dead over there and call him an ambulance if needed. Yes? Good? Thanks again, laddie, I appreciate it."

If he could never talk to DJ Grooves again, that would be perfect. Maybe their relationship would be cold and professional from now on, only talking when it mattered with their shared studio.

 

Life had other plans. Or rather, elsewhere in the world, a mustached-kid playing god was about to succeed where DJ Grooves failed: successfully breaking all these Time Pieces.


End file.
